Friday, July 4, 2008

just because...

just because Fourth of July was fun this year and I love the muppets.


Thursday, June 26, 2008

So my mom swept through New York City these past few days and you know what that means! Dinner at fancy restaurants and shopping for things I can't afford. Namely, a dress for my brother's wedding.

Sak's makes me uncomfortable although all you lovers of fancy designers, the third floor is having a major sale on all of their upscale clothing.

But the best part about my mom coming into town? Taking cabs. I never take cabs. I don't have the money and it's usually quicker to take public transit. But, I welcome taxi rides whenever someone is willing to subsidize. Over the last couple of days, I've encountered a couple of types of drivers:
-pump the gas man - you are especially annoying because you make me want to vomit all over your seats.
-pump the break man - you are equally annoying as I'm not in love with hitting my head on the partition
-need for speed man - I don't have a huge problem with you as long as I get to my destination alive
and finally
-slow and steady man - I have no need for you. This is New York City and I have places to be.


In other news, there was quite a hubbub in my neighborhood yesterday evening as a small dog in a garden behind my apartment was crying all night. While some were simply annoyed by the barking, there were quite a few of us who are concerned because the dog is left out there all hours of the day and night with no food or water. Needless to say, at midnight I was scaling the fence in my backyard in attempt to save the pup, but to no avail. My neighbor was supposed to call the animal precinct this morning and I hope she did!

This Sunday, I'll be with my brother and his fiance promoting pet adoptions at the gay pride parade. Look for me! I'll be marching in the parade. I'll be the one who isn't making out with a lesbian.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

red string on my forefinger

Once in a great while, I need to remind myself of why I made the choices I did.

Man, I have no regrets.





My life was intense for awhile there. I guess I can be alright with a rather calm and quiet existence.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Well, I'm back from the country in one piece, hardly. Despite various minor mishaps, like my dog running away, my weekend jaunt was much appreciated.

Now I'm back in the humid abyss that is New York City, and let me say, I have realized why I like winter better than summer.

Regulating temperature in New York City is an art form which I have not mastered. It is generally at least 10 degrees warmer in my apartment than outdoors at all times. I'm one of the lucky Manhattanites who enjoys TWO functioning air conditioning units. Nonetheless, I'm sitting here sweating at 9:30PM.

Let me make one more comment about my day today. I went to go pick up a prescription at a different Duane Reade than I normally go to. This is because the most recent construction crane debacle destroyed my beloved pharmacy around the corner from my apartment. The pharmacist was giving me a hard time about switching my prescription to another Duane Reade, to which I said, "But a crane fell on my Duane Reade!" and he relented. I then realized that there will never be another city in the world that I choose to live in that will ever put in me in the situation I was in today.

And with that, I'm going back to reading On the Road, which by the way is not as good as everyone says. It's the only book that's taken me forever to read because I'm just plain bored.

Peace.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I feel extra Jewish

So I'm home. The trip to Israel went off without a hitch and I'm happy to say that I wasn't sure I wanted to return to New York City. That's right, this blog almost became "Sincerely (,) Israel." And it still might.

But besides that, it was an incredible trip in a beautiful and vibrant country that I will never forget. Everyone should get there once in their life.

Pictures (all 577 of them) are posted in my flickr account, which can be seen here... http://flickr.com/photos/jessicablair/sets/72157605470103878/

But enough about that.

Yesterday I had a wonderfully New York day and I'd like to share, if I may. Barney Greengrass, the quintessential breakfast and smoked fish spot on the Upper West Side, turned 100 years old. Now, I'll be honest, I'd never heard of the place. Never been there, never even thought about it. But I'm Jewish and I love smoked fish. Well, in honor of their 100th anniversary of existing (!), they rolled back their prices to what they would have been should it be 1908. That's right...Adam and I spent a total of 6.50 (tax included) on four glasses of orange juice, smoked salmon and sturgeon with eggs, and a smoked salmon and sturgeon sandwich. Let me just remind you non-New Yorkers that 6.50 is about how much I would have paid for my salad fork if these were 2008 prices. It was delicious and the line was worth it.

We skipped the bus home and took a walk through Central Park. Believe it or not, I've never actually taken the time to stroll through there. I've been in and out a couple of times, but now I was able to feel one with nature for half an hour. And now I understand why people hang out there. There's a lot more oxygen within those trees.

And finally, we ended our night at top chef, Wylie Dufresne's WD-50 for a belated birthday gift to Adam. Not only was the food excellent, but I swindled the staff into letting Adam take a tour through the kitchen and meet Dufresne himself. It was a night to remember.

And today, I'm doing what any New Yorker would do as the weekend approaches. I'm leaving. That's right, it's off to the country for me. Time for swimming, eating meat, and taking naps.

Shalom!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

long time no see.

So, I'm officially living life post graduate degree. That's right, it's Master Jessi to you.

And everything's coming up Milhouse, if you will.

Less than a month after receiving my receipt for graduate school (ie. my diploma), I have gone and gotten myself a job at a charter school in Harlem.

On top of that, I'm going to the land of milk and honey tomorrow. That's right folks, Israel. I'll be making my pilgrimage tomorrow evening via El Al with a group of 40 people I've never met before. It's sure to be filled with awkward moments, cheesey photo opportunities, and a fair amount of xanax. But, for real, it's going to be pretty amazing. I've heard nothing but good things, so I'm pretty excited to make this jaunt.

But, rewind a little, to my graduation. How New York could my graduation get? I had two ceremonies. My graduate commencement was at....that's right, Radio City Music Hall. And the all university commencement? Yankee Stadium.

In the course of 24 hours, I walked across the stage that countless high kicks were executed on, sat in a famous baseball arena packed with 32,000 of my classmates, and took a celebretory shot of tequila with my immediate family at a dingy bar across the street from the stadium in the Bronx.

I rounded off the celebratory week with an equally fabulous and overwhelming shopping experience with my best friend Mica. On a Saturday afternoon, we went to SoHo, Chinatown, and Century 21. Basically, we were just asking to be mauled by tourists. But Mica managed to score three realistic looking handbags in the course of 10 minutes, while I spoke french to a West African man named Sharif, who could sell flaming feces to just about anyone.

So, it was a pretty New York type of week. Actually, it's been a pretty New York kind of year and a half.
And it's sure to be a pretty New York type of trip to Israel.

Here's to traveling for 10 days with East Coasters!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Today, on the uptown 6, I got into an intelligent and heated conversation about the all-too-talked about (already) Spitzer scandal. My peers in this conversation? Well, me of course, 20 something grad student. 50 something year old white working stiff, donning a gray trench and black leather briefcase. And teen aged dude, bling in his ears, girlfriend on his arm.

It all started because the high school kid was talking way too loudly on the train (which, by the way, is generally the case on any subway I've ever been on. Children under the age of 18 who aren't practically screaming at all times, don't actually exist). He was reading working stiff's newspaper over his shoulder and asking him obnoxious questions, maybe to get a rise out of him, who really knows. Anyway, he says, "Whatever, can't blame the guy. He cheated on his wife. Big deal."


The debate ensued. I will not go into details as this widely publicized debate will be an awful reincarnation of the Clinton debacle, but I will say this. Goddamned if I don't love New York City.

We're a diverse group with tons of different opinions, and thank god we ALL are willing to voice them.


That is all.

Friday, March 7, 2008

On this rainy night in New York City, I'd like to talk about an experience I had tonight with a delivery driver.

Let me just ask a question.


Let's say you work for a restaurant. And they give you the wrong address for which to deliver food. So you get to this wrong address, you buzz, the person answers and says they didn't order food. What would you do?

Call the restaurant? Excuse yourself and go back to work? No, you would give them the food anyway. Apparently that is accepted practice.

Anyway, after two hours, I finally got the food I ordered, free, and ice cold. Meh, it's fine. I'll get over it.

What I won't get over is the fact that I've been literally incapabale of choosing an appropriate jacket lately. Since I moved to New York, I've learned never to wear TOO heavy of a jacket when leaving the house. There IS a science behind this. If you wear a jacket that is too heavy, you get way too hot while walking. But if you take said jacket off, there is the danger that you will be too cold.

My problem is, I usually always go for the lightest jacket possible. And then I'm running the six blocks home from the subway. I'll have to work on this.

I'd also like to use this forum to publicly speak out against the homeless man on Waverly and Broadway outside the deli. You know, the guy with the witty signs like, "Need money for NYU tuition," or "Voldemort broke my wand. Need money for a new one." Sure some people go for the whole "homeless guy making jokes on his signs so I better give him money" type thing. But personally, I don't go for the whole "homeless guy who calls me a tightwad cunt." So fuck that guy. Also, there is always some hipster sitting on his milkcrate with him. What could they possibly be talking about? I don't understand. He is MEAN.


Okay that's all tonight.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

rathbone's for chicken bones

Since we moved into the upper east apartment, Adam won't stop talking about how he's heard the best wings in New York City are all within blocks of our apartment. So tonight, being 25 cent wing night at Rathbone's, we ventured out to try the goods. Well he did. Years of Jewish food have left me with no tolerance for spicy food.

I had a burger...it was good, but why did it need to have an english muffin for a bun. I'd much rather have a big, eggy challah roll.

Apparently the wings were delicious which is a good thing.

And there was a really sparse amount of sawdust on the floor, another thing I didn't understand. But besides all those small things, I thought it was fun neighborhood bar. The service was good, we sat in a nice booth...it was a good time.


Meanwhile, since I don't drive very often in the city, I was pleasantly surprised while driving on the FDR from the Brooklyn Bridge up to 96th street. What a nice ride, like lake shore drive.





So that's it. Here's to 2-4 inches of snow on Friday. Can't wait.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

New York navigation

Here's an interesting thing I've noticed. Appropriate, but interesting nonetheless.

I've lived here for a little over a year. I can pretty much get anywhere. Unless I'm driving. Then I'm a total tourist. Simple things like which streets run uptown and which run downtown simply baffle me. The concepts of north, south, east, west? Like a different language.

All of a sudden I forget everything I knew about New York City and feel like I should just follow a cab, I'll probably end up somewhere interesting.


I say this because today I will be venturing to the thriving metropolis that is Nazareth, PA. Actually very excited, should be a relaxing drive and accompanying evening.



Side note:
The mouse has been captured...but not without a fair amount of thinking on my part. I actually had to outsmart the mouse. I had to think of a way that HE wouldn't have already thought of. I actually took a glue trap, stuck three toothpicks in it vertically, with a piece of my dog's kibble laying atop. I woke up this morning and SUCCESS.

I will sleep well tonight knowing I don't have a small furry friend dragging ketchup packets across my kitchen floor.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

on lotteries; carts

So I was reading on Gothamist today about this school teacher who won a lottery to get an Upper East Side studio for $14,000. Which is ridiculous. So, good for him..but what makes me nervous is...

Where was this guy teaching that paid him SO little he had to WIN A LOTTERY for an apartment? Seriously, is my future teaching career looking that bleak? Should I be signing up for this lottery?


In other news, I'm having an issue with my grocery cart that I bring to the market. Initially, I bought it so I could fit in the with the old Italian ladies who lived near my prior apartment in Brooklyn. But because I lived in a third floor walkup, I never wanted to carry it up the stairs.

Now, I live on the ground floor, which is awesome, but I have something to say about these carts. While useful, are they made out of garbage? Seriously, within one use, I managed to break the little clip that holds it together, I've ripped the handle, and I'm feeling self conscious about it in my super swank new neighborhood.

Plus, let's be honest, if you're going to have one, you can only shop at big grocery stores, no delis or independent groceries are in your future. Navigating through those tiny aisles requires a separate driver's license.

So that's what's happening on the Upper East Side today....still no capture on the mouse. I'm starting to accept my new roommate. Is that a compromise NYC demands?

Friday, February 15, 2008

Pest up

Though I've lived in New York City for over a year, I will never get used to the inevitable amount of rodents and insects that cohabitate within your apartment. They don't discriminate against my shoebox apartment or my closet sized kitchen. But the mouse in question is exceptional. Exceptional in the sense that he/she has outsmarted me...twice.

Exhibit A- Your standard mouse trap...mouse eats bait (in this case peanut butter, as I've heard mice will accept no less), mouse activates trigger, and boom! Broken neck. Easy, right?

Not when you're dealing with my little friend. For the past two nights, he's spent his time licking the bait clean, enjoying that peanut butter, probably drinking some milk to wash it down. Meanwhile, this mouse is NOT suffering the consequences. There is no BOOM. There is no broken neck. There is just delicious peanut butter going to waste.


Exhibit B- The mouse comes out in daylight. He's fucking with me, I know. But this little guy feels it necessary to gallavant across my kitchen only at times when I can see it happening.

Result? Glue trap on the floor.

If that doesn't work? I've got backup.





UPDATE: I caught the mouse...for two minutes....and he outsmarted me again. He got stuck to the glue trap, and somehow wedged himself under the oven, still attached to the trap, and wiggled his way out. Seriously, respect.